You're Gross, Whether You Like It or Not

The Demodex is a type of tiny, parasitic mite that lives in or near the hair follicles of mammals -- including humans. They are primarily found in the face: near the nose, eyelashes, and eyebrows; but they can occur elsewhere on the body.

Doesn't that make you feel itchy? Don't go trying to wash your eyelashes just yet. It's estimated that 500 to 1000 species of bacteria live in the human gut and a roughly similar amount on the skin. There's no scrubbing that off.

And with that bit of knowledge (that you can't un-know), I complete my four-part Freaky Friday collection.


 Matilda, our resident Halloween-kitty, wishes you a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Wordless Wednesday: Fall in Full Swing

Art is Scary

When I was in elementary school, I remember borrowing Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark from the library. There were three books, all written by Alvin Schwartz and illustrated by Stephen Gammell. Can we just stop for a moment and recognize how TERRIFYING these illustrations are? No wonder I'm not afraid of crappy horror movies. I'm pretty much immune. I was probably about seven-years-old when I read these things. And yes, I eventually bought them.

This illustration was from a story about a bride who hid in a trunk during her wedding (some sort of hide-and-seek game). Nobody found her, she got trapped, and then she died... jeez. Not only freaky, but really depressing.

And this... this was from a story about somebody who found what they thought was a weird looking dog. It ended up being a mutant rat or something. Talk about nightmares. Anyway... I just thought I should share. I'm sure plenty of people my age can reminisce about these books. Goosebumps books were scary, but none of them stand out in my mind quite like Scary Stories books do.

By the way -- my love of creepy art doesn't stop at childrens' books. Here are some of my favorite, freaky pieces of fine art. Sure beats paintings of fruit and flowers.

Study after Velázquez's Portrait of Pope Innocent X (1953) by Francis Bacon

Untitled, known as Saturn Devouring His Son, Devoration or
Saturn Eats His Child (1819–1823) by Francisco Goya

Soft Construction with Boiled Beans (Premonition of Civil War) (1936) by Salvador Dalí

From Dust to...

What happens after you die? I'm not starting a discussion about theology. I mean, what really happens to your ol' sack of bones? A lot of people are embalmed and buried. Others choose to be cremated; their ashes either spread in a meaningful spot or kept by family members. For the most part, people are breaking down into little bits, becoming unrecognizable as the years pass. But what if you don't want that fate? There are many things you can do with your corpse. Some are practical, while others are just fucking wacky. I've compiled a list of my top five favorite post-mortem... activities?

Things you can do (or be) when you're dead! 

5. Were you a teacher's pet in life? A former-book-worm-now-worm-food might choose to will his or her body to a university. Many medical schools rely on willed cadavers to help students learn. According to the University of Colorado School of Medicine, "Most bodies are used to teach medical, dental, physical therapy and physician assistant students, and in the continuing education program for surgeons. Some bodies are used for research, primarily by surgeons to study new operative techniques." Want to know more about willing your body? It's never too late to learn! 

 4. You might be dead, but there are valuable parts of you that may still be useful. Heck, you can even lend your face to someone who needs it! Put those squishy parts to work and become an organ donor! 

 3. Can't get enough of those crime shows? Watch way too much CSI? Have I got the after-death for you! Bet you didn't know that there are five research facilities in the US where they plant bodies and see what "grows"? Body farms allow forensic anthropologists to study skeletal and decomposing human remains in various settings and circumstances. Their knowledge can then be applied to real-life crime scenes. Texas State University boasts the largest body farm. Why not reserve a spot for your carcass? 

Those were all pretty noble ways to use your body after you're done with it. Your donation will surely help someone, if not dozens of someones. But not everyone wants their remains poked at by students, doctors, or forensic anthropologists. Don't worry, my last two post-mortem activities are for you! 

 2. Cremation often allows the dearly-departed to stay in their home, surrounded by loved ones. But let's face it -- who wants a big, ugly pot filled with you sitting on their mantle? The risk of the urn breaking, and bits of myself getting all up in my family's lungs, would be too stressful. The solution? Turn that corpse into a diamond! A bit of hair or ashes can be your carbon source for their patented, diamond-making process. Death and diamonds... both are forever. Makes perfect sense to me! Throw out that bulky urn and rock on forever! (Geology puns)

 1. This one is for dead Trekkies. You always fantasized about orbiting the earth, walking on the moon, or even travelling into deep space. But let's face it -- unless you work for NASA or you're Sir Richard Branson -- it just ain't happening. However, your cremated remains might have better luck! For around a grand, your dust can sore into space and mingle with some space dust. For a mere $12,500, you can launch your ashes into deep spae with the Voyager Service. It's first mission is scheduled for 2014, so you may want to plan ahead for your flight! Want to learn more, you nerd? Click here to visit their website.

Software Giveaway Update

Just a quick update on the My Memories Free Software Giveaway. I will be announcing the winner on November 8th, 2011. I figure two months should be plenty of time to get your entries in. Remember, all you have to do is comment on this post to enter. Just think of all the cute holiday collages you could be making!

Product Review: Natural Pet Warehouse

I recently ordered some doggy items from Natural Pet Warehouse. I was primarily looking for Bug Off Garlic, and they sell the 2.5 pound jug at the cheapest price I could find. It's supposed to work wonders for controlling ticks and other nasties, so I figured it was worth a shot. A 2.5 pound jug of the garlic powder cost the same as one dosage of Frontline, which I don't really like using (chemicals). If it holds up, my next order will be for the horse-sized jug. I've heard good things, now I just have to put it to the test myself. It takes a few weeks to get into the dogs' systems, so for now, they're still covered under their Frontline. The real test will be next spring, when the tick population explodes. So, for now, my Bug Off Garlic review is "to be continued..."



My next purchase was an antler for the dogs to chew. I ordered the "jumbo" size, which really isn't all that jumbo. However, I've read that this "Antlerz" company is a bit off with labeling their sizes, so I already knew what I was getting. No matter what size, the dogs LOVE antlers. I'm going to have to order another one, because there's quite a bit of jealousy surrounding the antler. I highly recommend these for strong chewers!



The last two items I received were a surprise. Natural Pet Warehouse was nice enough to send me two toys for the dogs to sample. One is called the Hol-ee Roller; the other, a "Dogs in Action" Squiggly. The Hol-ee Roller seems to be the favorite so far. I keep putting it away in their toy basket and it keeps appearing elsewhere around the house. The Squiggly, or DNA as I like to call it, has been chewed quite a bit as well. These kind of toys are perfect for my dogs. They will quickly destroy edible treats and tear apart plushies and ropes. Tough plastic chews, antlers, and bones are really the only toys that last.



Here's a quick tip if you decide to order the Hol-ee Roller -- stick a big biscuit inside! Dexter is a master at getting treats out of toys, but it took him awhile to free this biscuit. The flexible, chewy toy caves inward when he tries to stick his muzzle towards the biscuit. He really has to work to get them out. Definitely good for a rainy day and bored doggies! Just be aware you'll need a relatively large biscuit -- or a small Hol-ee Roller -- depending on your dog.



As you can see, the dogs are happy customers. I highly recommend Natural Pet Warehouse. They're really affordable and they carry products you may not find elsewhere. Plus, they're all around nice to deal with! That always scores major brownie points for me.

Memento Mori

Memento Mori means, "Remember your mortality." What better way than by taking a death portrait with a recently deceased loved one? In honor of Halloween and all things creepy, I've decided to post something freaky every Friday of the month. This week: Victorian Death Portraits! That's right -- gal in the middle with the sweet fingerless gloves? She most likely bit it a few days prior to this photo!


If you're not familiar with post-mortem photography, you're probably thinking, "What the f---!" Let me explain. Portraiture became affordable to the general public after the invention of the daguerreotype in 1839. Less expensive than a painted picture, this method allowed the middle class to produce portraits of loved ones. But why limit photos to the living! Subjects also included their recently departed kin. Who wouldn't want to remember Grandpa with a spooky, murky, grey scale image.

Right photo from The Thanatos Archive
To make things just a little bit creepier, early post-mortem photographs often showed the body propped up, sometimes holding or "interacting" with an object. This was an (often poor) attempt to make the corpse appear alive. Dad was given his favorite book or newspaper. Little Timmy was given his favorite toy to clutch (in his cold, dead hands). Baby Sue was placed in her mothers' arms, and Ma looked at the camera proudly, as if there was still a beating heart inside. 


Some post-mortems went as far as to keep the deads' eyes open. Young lady in the middle here looks like she's staring off into the distance, thinking a satisfying thought, maybe. Nope, she's dead. The saddest part is that many of these stiffs only had one photo ever taken of them and they weren't even alive to see it. I imagine the poorer classes would save up for a death portrait, as part of the funeral arrangements to commemorate the dead.

Right photo from The Thanatos Archive

As time went on, photographing the corpse in a more natural setting became favorable -- primarily, a coffin. You might be wondering, "What exactly did they DO with these photos?" They didn't make scrap books and tuck them away. Oh, no. Mostly, the portraits were put on display prominently in the home -- a constant reminder that so-and-so has died. Or perhaps, that so-and-so was once alive, depending on the type of death portrait the family chose. The practice eventually died out (pun intended) towards the end of the 19th century and early 20th century. Probably because it was depressingly weird.


Today, these photos are seen as creepy and perhaps a tad disrespectful. But during their time, they were just another part of the "death dance". After all, we still play dress up with our deceased: we spruce them up in fancy clothes and makeup, and put them on display for a room of mourners. Modern day post-mortem practices are still pretty creepy, even after all these years.

The Little Things

"I am a happy camper so I guess I’m doing something right. Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder." - Henry David Thoreau



Every day, I notice folks bitchin' and moanin' on various social networks, and in person, too. At first it made me mad; now it just makes me sad. Happiness is relative, I understand that. There are times when being upset are truly warranted. I get that as well. I'm talking about those who whine about petty stuff. Crappy weather. A long day at work. Drama with a friend.



The next time you feel like venting your minor inconveniences, take a minute and breathe. Think about what you're grateful for. Here, I'll start. You have air in your lungs. Food in your belly. If it's raining, the sun will shine again. Chances are, you've got someone who cares about you. If you're extra lucky, you have lots of people who care. Save one of those pout-posts and replace it with something useful. Share something you learned today. Or better yet, say something funny. Humor trumps sadness or anger any day. Your friends will be glad you kept things on the brighter side. You will be, too.

“However mean your life is, meet it and live it.” - Thoreau

Wordless Wednesday: Bikejoring

All Good Things are Wild and Free

In the Catskills by Thomas Doughty
"Generally speaking, a howling wilderness does not howl: it is the imagination of the traveler that does the howling." - Henry David Thoreau

Unless, of course, you travel with dogs. Then maybe it's more than your imagination.



I didn't have work on Friday, so I packed up the dogs and drove up to Chester. We went to Hacklebarney State Park, where I've hiked many times. It was about 70 degrees, warm and sunny, but you could feel that fall breeze starting to creep in.






The trails were slick in some spots from the recent rain. And the rivers that cut through the park were flowing fast. It made Nali nervous, but Dexter wanted to get closer and dip his feet in.



I think the leaves were starting to change colors -- but I can't be sure. I spent most of the hike focusing on not falling down. This was Denali's first real hike and she pulled with all her 40 pounds the entire time. She was in harness, so that's exactly what she should be doing, but it made the walk pretty intense.



Going uphill with two dogs pulling was a relief. Going down hill, or trying to maneuver over the rocky trail, was borderline scary. In hindsight, I should have avoided the rocky areas. I was asking for a sprained ankle, but somehow managed to make it out in one piece.



We only went about four miles, but it was pretty warm and I was beat. Denali could have went another ten, I bet. Dexter was content either way. On the way home, I stopped at Alstede Farms for some cider, apple pie, and honey. Nothing beats locally grown food.

All in all, a perfect kind of day.