Four Days 'til Spring

My garden is eager to go outside. So am I.

"I get by with a little help from my friends."

I am pretty easy-going. I get along with most people. But I have a lot of unusual interests and hobbies -- so often, I find myself alone. It's not really a problem, I like doing things by myself. But it would be nice to find someone who shares all my ridiculous fascinations. Does this person exist? I doubt it.

• You love animals, especially dogs and cats. And I don't mean "Oh, sure, I had a dog growing up." I mean, can't picture life without a cat in your lap and a dog at your feet.
• You like hiking, biking, camping, horse-back riding... AKA dirty outdoor stuff. If you need to shower and do your hair everysingleday, this won't work.
• Gross and dark humor are a must. If you take everything I say literally, you'll probably think I'm a horrible person.
• You better fart and burp.
• Did I mention I like animals? If you're allergic... well, you better get over it.
• You think gardening is fun. I hope to one day grow more vegetables than I purchase.
• How do you feel about chickens? Because I want a small flock. Fresh eggs are the best, I promise.
• In case you couldn't tell, I like forests and countryside versus pavement and buildings.
• Sometimes I like to drink and dance. But mostly, I don't. You need to be OK with this.
• You enjoy being photographed. That sounds weird. But I take lots of pictures.
• You should like Jackass, Jim Carrey, Louis C.K., Anthony Bourdain, and Jurassic Park. And no, these have nothing in common with one another.
• You should have a job. Preferably, one you enjoy, and don't frequently complain about.
• Creativity is important. It doesn't matter how you express it, but it's important that you do.
• You like to think about the big picture. The universe, life, death, and your existence in between. 
• You must believe in evolution. And respect that I am an atheist.
• You know how to cook, and like to share the responsibility.
• You think dog sledding is cool and exciting, not lame or weird.
• Vacations can be anything from a trip to Disney World, backpacking through Europe, or a weekend down the good ol' Jersey shore.
• You're modest. And open-minded.
• Your eggs are not all in one basket. So to speak.
• You don't really care about sports, but you like the Mets and Jets. At least, you say so in my household.
• There's going to be animal hair on EVERYTHING you own. You're OK with this.
• You can talk in length about the joys of bread-making.
• I'm going to change my hair color a lot. You like it, no matter how bad it looks.
• You support gay marriage, although the concept of marriage scares you in general.
• You will play Pokemon with me.
• You get dressed up on Halloween. No matter how old you are.
• You observe the "if it's yellow, let it mellow" rule.
• No slobs. Get off your ass and clean up.
• Flea markets and thrift stores are the shit. You agree.

There are lots of other random things that are unusually important to me. I could go on and on.

My group of friends, collectively, meet this criteria. And so, like a completed puzzle or sewn-together quilt, I can get along.