Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.

I've been in and out of relationships since I was around 15-years-old. I guess I'm lucky -- I've only had to deal with three breakups. Or maybe I'm unlucky. Longer relationships are (usually) more difficult to recover from.

In the past month, I've been dealing with the end of my shortest relationship to date. In keeping with tradition, I have over-analyzed every aspect of what went wrong. Now, I'm moving onto other thoughts. Cold, scientific, logical thoughts. Bear with me on this.

The concept of "love" is used to describe intense emotions and feelings you have for another person. It's just a label, created by man. Why do we get these feelings? Why are we sad when our partner vanishes? Romance and all that bullshit aside, why does it physically hurt?

"It's all biology" (name that awful movie!). It's the drive to reproduce. The unrelenting desire to find "the one", to be "in love", to settle down and build a relationship. It's just a mask for successfully maintaining our genetic lines. Even people who don't want kids (example: me) can't ignore the biology working on the inside.

Humans are a bit more complex than other animals. We write stories and poetry. Direct movies. Sing songs. All elaborate expressions of how chemical reactions make us feel about one another.

So what conclusion have I come to? I'm not really sure. When you reach this point of mind over matter... or, in this case, mind over biology -- does it ruin all hope for future relationships? Does it devalue all the chemically-induced fanfare our bodies create when we start to like someone?

I'd like to think it doesn't. I hope whoever I meet next understands and embraces what I consider "love" -- as cold and unromantic as it may be. And I have to remind myself, a big part of a relationship is finding that elusive "best friend" quality in someone else. That's another story entirely.

The Little Things

"I am a happy camper so I guess I’m doing something right. Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder." - Henry David Thoreau



Every day, I notice folks bitchin' and moanin' on various social networks, and in person, too. At first it made me mad; now it just makes me sad. Happiness is relative, I understand that. There are times when being upset are truly warranted. I get that as well. I'm talking about those who whine about petty stuff. Crappy weather. A long day at work. Drama with a friend.



The next time you feel like venting your minor inconveniences, take a minute and breathe. Think about what you're grateful for. Here, I'll start. You have air in your lungs. Food in your belly. If it's raining, the sun will shine again. Chances are, you've got someone who cares about you. If you're extra lucky, you have lots of people who care. Save one of those pout-posts and replace it with something useful. Share something you learned today. Or better yet, say something funny. Humor trumps sadness or anger any day. Your friends will be glad you kept things on the brighter side. You will be, too.

“However mean your life is, meet it and live it.” - Thoreau

Every Wave

"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this."
— Henry David Thoreau

(Photo is from Sandy Hook circa 2009.)