First off... if you haven't seen it yet, don't read.
Spoilers ahead!
I saw a 12:01 AM showing of
Inglourious Basterds, and I had been looking forward to it for awhile. First, let it be said that I like Tarantino films, but I'm not obsessed with them like some are. The
Kill Bill movies are good. I loved
Grindhouse. But other then that, eh.
Pulp Fiction and
Reservoir Dogs are classic, but I don't really like them. (omg)
I feel like
Inglourious Basterds missed out on some good opportunities. My biggest issue with this move: it's damn long. It's 2 hours and 32 minutes with end credits. This would've been OK, except I found myself getting bored on more than a few occasions, which is sad. Tarantino is usually all about action and gore. I thought, "A war movie about Nazi killers, this is going to be gore central!" And don't get my wrong, it had its moments. But they were few and far between. And I feel like there were only one or two action scenes.
So what was all that time filled with? Blab blab blab blab. Soooo much talking. Slow, drawn out, pause-filled conversations. I get what he was trying to do... build suspense, etc. etc. But I wasn't suspensed. I was thinking, "Hey, when they gonna kill some Nazis?"
I expected to see the Basterds hunting down some Nazis. I expected to see the Basterds for more than 20 minutes. The only time they were really killing Nazis (except for at the end, or in flashbacks), was at the beginning - and we saw that part in the trailer. That's it. Other than that, they sort of bumble around France. I heard on an interview with Samm Levine (one of the Basterds) that Tarantino had them all come up with back stories to their characters. But it really didn't freaking matter because they were only in the movie for five minutes.
I also wondered how the Basterds managed to be such an intimidating force, when they all came off as rather dumb at the end (pretending to be Italians when they barely spoke the language, etc.). Not that Tarantino bothered to address that question, because we don't see the Basterds capturing any Nazis (only
after they captured them, not the act of capturing).
The movie was more about Shosanna, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. She's a beautiful Jewish girl, who's family was killed at the beginning - after the longest, most boring conversation ever between Hans and King Leonidas (the whole time I was waiting for him to murder the guy, but he just cries and gives the Jews away). For some reason, she gets away, even though Hans had every opportunity to kill her. But I guess he likes the thrill of the hunt/there wouldn't be a movie if she died in the first 20 minutes. And then somehow she owns a cinema with token black guy? Her story (for the Nazis) is that she inherited it from her Aunt and Uncle, but that has to be a lie since she's Jewish, and the names she gives are fake. And if it was really owned by her relatives, the SS would have known it was owned by Jews, and certainly wouldn't let her inherit it. So I don't know. She stole it?
Dan, my movie going friend, brought up that her (Jewish) Aunt may have married a (non-Jewish) fellow, from which she used the last name to hide her heritage. But here's the thing about the Germans... they knew and had records of just about everything. Hans knew everything about Shosanna and her family when they were out in bumble-fuck France, so they certainly would've known about her Jewish aunt living in the city, owning a business. Even if they managed to slip through the cracks, they would've checked up on who was inheriting the place. I don't know, I'll let this one slide for now.
Moving on... there were parts of this movie that were quite good. I liked Fredrick, the handsome young Nazi hero that tries to date Shosanna. He made me a Nazi sympathizer for a good hour or so, which sucks. It was an interesting move on Tarantino's part; giving Nazis a more human side rather than just turning them all into monsters.
I wanted to see more of Eli Roth smashing Nazi heads. Wanted to see Hugo go berserk on some Nazis. The basement bar fight was probably the closest we got to seeing any action, and it happened in a split second... and only after like an hour of banter. Then suddenly everyone was dead and I was sad. If the Basterds were so tough, why did they suck at killing a bunch of hammered Nazis?
Towards the end, Clever Hans figures out Hammersmark (German actress) is a traitor, and the "Italians" she brings to the premier of Goebbels' new propaganda film are the Basterds, planning to blow the joint up. He's so enraged that the actress, a symbol of Germany's pride, is a traitor, that he STRANGLES her. He leaps up and CHOKES her to death. Which was awesome. Throughout the film, you get the idea that Hans is uber Nazi, loves the fatherland, hates traitors, yadda yadda yadda.
Next scene, Hans is conspiring with the recently captured Basterds to allow them blow up the cinema, kill Hitler and the other high ranking Nazi officials, and end the war (as long as they make it seem like he was on the Allies' side the whole time, allow him to come to America and escape the tribunal, basically fuck Germany in its ass).
Excuse me?
He had every opportunity to have the other Basterds (still seated at the premier) removed, killed, taken care of. He certainly would've been glorified by the Germans for such an act. And you know, throughout the movie, I kind of thought he was on their side, so that would've made sense. Especially after choking that bitch, remember that part? From like five minutes ago?
Yea, so that was my other biggest flaw with this movie. It would've been slightly more understandable if there was no way he could stop the cinema from blowing up. Then he really wouldn't have had a choice; he would've been one of the few high-ranking Nazis left, and surely would've gotten his ass chewed. But that wasn't the case. He made it quite clear he could stop the Basterds. Erf.
Despite the problems, I really liked the end. The part where Shosanna switched the propaganda film with her own, the fire, her face projected over the smoke, Hitler's mutilated face. All quite entertaining.
From this review, it probably sounds like I hated this film, but I didn't. I probably wouldn't want to sit through the whole thing again, and I would've liked it more if they shaved an hour off it. Nevertheless, it's worth seeing. As far as summer films go, this one was great compared to such marvels as
G.I. Joe and
Transformers 2 (I assume... I'm not dumb enough to spend money and actually see them). I'll give it 3 out of 5 stars.