You're Gross, Whether You Like It or Not

The Demodex is a type of tiny, parasitic mite that lives in or near the hair follicles of mammals -- including humans. They are primarily found in the face: near the nose, eyelashes, and eyebrows; but they can occur elsewhere on the body.

Doesn't that make you feel itchy? Don't go trying to wash your eyelashes just yet. It's estimated that 500 to 1000 species of bacteria live in the human gut and a roughly similar amount on the skin. There's no scrubbing that off.

And with that bit of knowledge (that you can't un-know), I complete my four-part Freaky Friday collection.


 Matilda, our resident Halloween-kitty, wishes you a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Wordless Wednesday: Fall in Full Swing

Art is Scary

When I was in elementary school, I remember borrowing Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark from the library. There were three books, all written by Alvin Schwartz and illustrated by Stephen Gammell. Can we just stop for a moment and recognize how TERRIFYING these illustrations are? No wonder I'm not afraid of crappy horror movies. I'm pretty much immune. I was probably about seven-years-old when I read these things. And yes, I eventually bought them.

This illustration was from a story about a bride who hid in a trunk during her wedding (some sort of hide-and-seek game). Nobody found her, she got trapped, and then she died... jeez. Not only freaky, but really depressing.

And this... this was from a story about somebody who found what they thought was a weird looking dog. It ended up being a mutant rat or something. Talk about nightmares. Anyway... I just thought I should share. I'm sure plenty of people my age can reminisce about these books. Goosebumps books were scary, but none of them stand out in my mind quite like Scary Stories books do.

By the way -- my love of creepy art doesn't stop at childrens' books. Here are some of my favorite, freaky pieces of fine art. Sure beats paintings of fruit and flowers.

Study after Velázquez's Portrait of Pope Innocent X (1953) by Francis Bacon

Untitled, known as Saturn Devouring His Son, Devoration or
Saturn Eats His Child (1819–1823) by Francisco Goya

Soft Construction with Boiled Beans (Premonition of Civil War) (1936) by Salvador Dalí

From Dust to...

What happens after you die? I'm not starting a discussion about theology. I mean, what really happens to your ol' sack of bones? A lot of people are embalmed and buried. Others choose to be cremated; their ashes either spread in a meaningful spot or kept by family members. For the most part, people are breaking down into little bits, becoming unrecognizable as the years pass. But what if you don't want that fate? There are many things you can do with your corpse. Some are practical, while others are just fucking wacky. I've compiled a list of my top five favorite post-mortem... activities?

Things you can do (or be) when you're dead! 

5. Were you a teacher's pet in life? A former-book-worm-now-worm-food might choose to will his or her body to a university. Many medical schools rely on willed cadavers to help students learn. According to the University of Colorado School of Medicine, "Most bodies are used to teach medical, dental, physical therapy and physician assistant students, and in the continuing education program for surgeons. Some bodies are used for research, primarily by surgeons to study new operative techniques." Want to know more about willing your body? It's never too late to learn! 

 4. You might be dead, but there are valuable parts of you that may still be useful. Heck, you can even lend your face to someone who needs it! Put those squishy parts to work and become an organ donor! 

 3. Can't get enough of those crime shows? Watch way too much CSI? Have I got the after-death for you! Bet you didn't know that there are five research facilities in the US where they plant bodies and see what "grows"? Body farms allow forensic anthropologists to study skeletal and decomposing human remains in various settings and circumstances. Their knowledge can then be applied to real-life crime scenes. Texas State University boasts the largest body farm. Why not reserve a spot for your carcass? 

Those were all pretty noble ways to use your body after you're done with it. Your donation will surely help someone, if not dozens of someones. But not everyone wants their remains poked at by students, doctors, or forensic anthropologists. Don't worry, my last two post-mortem activities are for you! 

 2. Cremation often allows the dearly-departed to stay in their home, surrounded by loved ones. But let's face it -- who wants a big, ugly pot filled with you sitting on their mantle? The risk of the urn breaking, and bits of myself getting all up in my family's lungs, would be too stressful. The solution? Turn that corpse into a diamond! A bit of hair or ashes can be your carbon source for their patented, diamond-making process. Death and diamonds... both are forever. Makes perfect sense to me! Throw out that bulky urn and rock on forever! (Geology puns)

 1. This one is for dead Trekkies. You always fantasized about orbiting the earth, walking on the moon, or even travelling into deep space. But let's face it -- unless you work for NASA or you're Sir Richard Branson -- it just ain't happening. However, your cremated remains might have better luck! For around a grand, your dust can sore into space and mingle with some space dust. For a mere $12,500, you can launch your ashes into deep spae with the Voyager Service. It's first mission is scheduled for 2014, so you may want to plan ahead for your flight! Want to learn more, you nerd? Click here to visit their website.

Software Giveaway Update

Just a quick update on the My Memories Free Software Giveaway. I will be announcing the winner on November 8th, 2011. I figure two months should be plenty of time to get your entries in. Remember, all you have to do is comment on this post to enter. Just think of all the cute holiday collages you could be making!