Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.

I've been in and out of relationships since I was around 15-years-old. I guess I'm lucky -- I've only had to deal with three breakups. Or maybe I'm unlucky. Longer relationships are (usually) more difficult to recover from.

In the past month, I've been dealing with the end of my shortest relationship to date. In keeping with tradition, I have over-analyzed every aspect of what went wrong. Now, I'm moving onto other thoughts. Cold, scientific, logical thoughts. Bear with me on this.

The concept of "love" is used to describe intense emotions and feelings you have for another person. It's just a label, created by man. Why do we get these feelings? Why are we sad when our partner vanishes? Romance and all that bullshit aside, why does it physically hurt?

"It's all biology" (name that awful movie!). It's the drive to reproduce. The unrelenting desire to find "the one", to be "in love", to settle down and build a relationship. It's just a mask for successfully maintaining our genetic lines. Even people who don't want kids (example: me) can't ignore the biology working on the inside.

Humans are a bit more complex than other animals. We write stories and poetry. Direct movies. Sing songs. All elaborate expressions of how chemical reactions make us feel about one another.

So what conclusion have I come to? I'm not really sure. When you reach this point of mind over matter... or, in this case, mind over biology -- does it ruin all hope for future relationships? Does it devalue all the chemically-induced fanfare our bodies create when we start to like someone?

I'd like to think it doesn't. I hope whoever I meet next understands and embraces what I consider "love" -- as cold and unromantic as it may be. And I have to remind myself, a big part of a relationship is finding that elusive "best friend" quality in someone else. That's another story entirely.

Carduelis tristis

I've been meaning to share my new tattoo here and explain why I chose a Goldfinch. I got it done at Timeless Tat2 in Bordentown, NJ, by the talented Chris Stumpf. I would've posted about it sooner (it's two and a half weeks old), but I wanted to wait for it to fully heal before taking pictures.

I've wanted an Eastern Goldfinch tattooed on me for several years now. It's the New Jersey state bird, so it's my homage to "home".

When I was little, I used to spend a lot of time in my backyard. My Mom and Nana used to have bird feeders and bird houses, so we were often visited by lots of different birds. Cardinals, Blue Jays, and Goldfinches were always my favorite to see. Their ultra vivid colors always popped out against the earth tones of the yard. I still get excited every time I see a Goldfinch -- not many animals are naturally Pikachu-colored!

So that's the story. My tattoo doesn't have a super deep meaning. It's just pretty and cute... and reminds me of my home, my family, and my childhood. And, of course, I'm eager to get more. Tattoos, like huskies, are addictive.

A Place to Call My Own

In the past year or so I've been passively searching for my dream home. I'll be 25 in May and I'm not really in a hurry to buy my own place (within the next five years would be preferable). I rent the lower half of my parents' two-family home, so I have everything I need. I pay them more than they ask for, but it's still barely anything compared to most rent in central NJ.

2011 was the year to "Buy ALL the things!" I honestly didn't save as much as I would've liked, but I did need to make some major purchases. I paid off more than half of my new truck, which made my monthly payments quite manageable. I bought lots of dog-related things, including, well... more dogs. And just a ton of small things that all add up.

Since I spent so much last year, 2012 has been deemed the year to "Save ALL the money!" Paying for my tattoo should be my last big expense, barring any emergencies. I need to cut back on restaurant food, but other than that, I should be in a position to start saving.

My goal? I need to put away a good chunk of money for my next huge purchase -- hopefully, a down-payment on a house. My own house.

I'm hoping that what I want/need in a home will make it less desirable to the average person, and therefore, cheap. I'm not worried about school districts. I don't need a ton of bedrooms. I just want a relatively secluded place on a reasonable chunk of land. Out in the woods, maybe. A half-hour drive into town wouldn't be a bad thing.

I've been looking at chalet houses in the Poconos. Generally, they're inexpensive because most people buy them as vacation homes. They're often tucked away in wooded areas or built next to rivers or lakes -- both features I would love. Many are part of communities, which could be good or bad, depending on their rules and amenities. I plan on having more dogs, a big garden, and backyard chickens. These things may not go over well in a community setting. We'll have to see.

The Poconos isn't exactly close, but still doable as far as my commute to Edison is concerned. Luckily, it's just once a week, so I wouldn't be killing myself too much.

I'm mostly just spitting out ideas here. I have no idea if I'll actually end up in PA. It seems like it would make sense, especially if I want to someday give mushing tours. The Poconos are known for their winter recreation activities, so there's really no better place for me to live -- and still be close enough to everything and everyone back "home".

Am I setting myself up to be that weird dog lady, living alone out in the woods? Yea, maybe. I guess I am crazy, because I don't see that as a bad thing

Blue Eyes and Spitfire

Click the logo above to visit my new mushing site. You may need to refresh a few times if the page doesn't load correctly. I'm still working out some kinks with the domain.

Website Changes

I've been doing some thinking, and I've decided to create a secondary website for all my dog stuff. It will be my "kennel" page, whereas this site will remain my personal/portfolio website. I will also be starting another blog on my kennel page, but it will be for recording my team's progress - strictly mushing-related posts.

I'm sure some stuff will leak over from that blog into this one, and vice versa, but I think it will help those who strictly want to read about dog stuff.

It might be hard to believe, but I DO have other things to write about, other than dogs. And I think this separation will force me to focus on some of my other interests... some of which have definitely been neglected.

So, in the coming year, I hope to blog about the following:

• Food - I love to cook and I love to eat. Hopefully I'll have some interesting recipes or restaurants to review.
• Art - Drawing has always been a huge passion of mine, and I admit I haven't been honing my skills. I'm hoping to create more art and share it here.
• Photography - My photo-taking has dwindled down to pictures of the dogs. I'm going to get back in gear and start photographing some other subject matter. (And the dogs too, duh)
• Homesteading - This is the main reason this website isn't just a simple portfolio hub for my work. One of my main aspirations is to create a food-producing homestead by keeping a successful garden and small animals. Obviously, this is somewhat on hiatus until A. it's warm enough to plant and B. I'm able to legally raise chickens. But there are always things I can read and write about, in preparation for my future plans. And I need to get my butt in gear.

So there you have it. I'll be setting up my kennel page within the next week or two, and I'll post the link somewhere pretty obvious on this site. Stay tuned!